Kick back and come to Iraq!

The WGA Foundation has many terrific programs. One is the Veterans Writing Workshop. A group of 28 working members of the WGA agree to “mentor” about 100 military veterans for a weekend of writing exercises and advice. The mentors all had great credits in film and TV. This year I volunteered to be one of them, and I cannot tell you how rewarding an experience it was!

We were all broken up into small groups of two mentors and three or four vets. So everyone got lots of personal attention and feedback. My co-team leader was Dave Hackel (creator of BECKER, producer of WINGS) and I presided over three extremely talented young men. So much so that (a) I’m threatened, and (b) I want to share their work. 

Like I said, all the groups were given various writing exercises (depending on the mentors). Write a paragraph that starts with “I remember…”, “What is the one thing you cannot live without?”, etc. We decided to make one up. All three of our guys had served overseas and were sharing stories around the table of the horrific conditions. So I said, “Okay. You’re the head of the tourism board of Iraq or Afghanistan or Kuwait. Write a one paragraph sales pitch convincing people to come to your country for vacation. This was the result:

Logan, Dan, Andy

IRAQ – Logan Knight

 Come to Iraq and bask in the beautiful summer sun all year long! Free yourself from Western distractions like women and running water. Take time to explore our beautiful caves, then pick one to live in! And Iraq hold the award for “Most Attractive Camels” three years in a row! So kick back and come to Iraq! 

AFGHANISTAN – Dan Anderson

Do you like open skies? Magnificent mountain ranges? The finest black tar heroin in the world? Then come to the unconquerable land of Afghanistan! Experience life as it was lived two thousand years ago when Jesus walked the earth. You will stay in a mud hut closely located near a stream that serves as both your toilet and bath. Going to the moon too expensive? Then come to the barren fields and mountains of Afghanistan! Personal rifle or machine gun recommended.

KUWAIT – Andy LaBrune

Are you tired of slouching away your life behind a desk? Then you need to shut your Facebook, turn off your smart phone, and embrace new adventures in Kuwait! Exotic animals like the giant lizard known as Dub-dubs run free on our low impact sand. And you can too! There are also unique examples of Mother Nature’s deadly creativity, like the Yellow Scorpion, or the Hairy, Jumping Camel Spider! Come to Kuwait!

In conferring with the other mentors, all of the participating veterans wrote wonderful, funny, touching, surprising pieces. Sign me up to mentor again! If you’d like information on the many fine programs the WGA Foundation sponsors, or if you’d like to contribute, please click here. For tour packages to Iraq you’re on your own.