Aloha. Here's the conclusion of this year's Holiday Movies Preview. Part 1 was yesterday.
TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY – Adaptation of John le Carre’s classic Cold War novel. Realistic James Bond material. Espionage galore, pussy not so much.
W.E. – Directed by Madonna. Isn’t that all you need to know? In 20 years Lady Gaga will direct the remake.
IN THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY – Many great film directors are forced to direct episodes of THE GLADES yet Angelina Jolie gets to direct a major motion picture. And for all the exceptional screenwriters who are now happy just to get work writing Saturday morning cartoons, Angelina Jolie wrote the screenplay.
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED – LOST with rodents.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN – Parents of a kid who goes on killing spree debate whether grounding him for a whole week is punishment enough.
CORMAN’S WORLD: EXPLOITS OF A HOLLYWOOD REBEL – Documentary on B-movie king, Roger Corman. He made 250 action movies for the cost of one Michael Bay film, and all 250 were better.
YOUNG ADULT – Diablo Cody screenplay about the ultimate mean girl (Charlize Theron) from high school returning to break up a marriage. Could be BAD TEACHER with good script.
THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN – Steven Spielberg’s 3D motion-capture movie adaptation of a popular Russian comic book. If he doesn’t win an Oscar for it, his next 3D motion-capture picture will be set during World War I.
WAR HORSE – World War I drama of Tony winning play directed by Steven Spielberg. If he doesn’t win an Oscar for it, his next drama will be a live action adaptation of Tintin.
THE DARKEST HOUR – 3-D thriller set in Moscow where it’s not enough there’s the KGB -- a group of young people are terrorized by aliens from outer space. This whole premise sounds utterly absurd. Everyone knows aliens from outer space only land in New Mexico.
EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE – Post 9/11 tearjerker starring Tom Hanks. Probably rough but worth seeing.
SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS – Finally! The beloved detective as Arthur Conan Doyle really envisioned him – as a bad-ass superhero. Robert Downey Jr. returns to deduce and destroy.
THE IRON LADY – Meryl Streep’s next Oscar nomination. This time playing… oh, what difference does it make? Just give her the statue.
ROADIE – a roadie for Blue Oyster Cult is no longer needed after twenty years and must adjust to life where girls have self esteem and don’t sleep with you just because it’s as close as they’re going to get to a rock star. In other words, it's a world gone mad!
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 3D – The Disney classic. You've seen the movie, you've seen the musical, now comes the 3D version. Coming soon: Siri will sing it to you while it streams on your iPhone. As long as you have a dollar in your pocket, those "imagineers" at Disney will not rest!
